Cattle Brands: A Collection of Western Camp-Fire Stories Page 3

  III

  "BAD MEDICINE"

  The evening before the Cherokee Strip was thrown open for settlement,a number of old timers met in the little town of Hennessey, Oklahoma.

  On the next day the Strip would pass from us and our employers, thecowmen. Some of the boys had spent from five to fifteen years on thisrange. But we realized that we had come to the parting of the ways.

  This was not the first time that the government had taken a hand incattle matters. Some of us in former days had moved cattle at thecommand of negro soldiers, with wintry winds howling an accompaniment.

  The cowman was never a government favorite. If the Indian wards of thenation had a few million acres of idle land, "Let it lie idle," saidthe guardian. Some of these civilized tribes maintained a fine systemof public schools from the rental of unoccupied lands. Nations, likemen, revive the fable of the dog and the ox. But the guardian wassupreme--the cowman went. This was not unexpected to most of us.Still, this country was a home to us. It mattered little if our nameswere on the pay-roll or not, it clothed and fed us.

  We were seated around a table in the rear of a saloon talking of themorrow. The place was run by a former cowboy. It therefore became arendezvous for the craft. Most of us had made up our minds to quitcattle for good and take claims.

  "Before I take a claim," said Tom Roll, "I'll go to Minnesota and peonmyself to some Swede farmer for my keep the balance of my life. Makinghay and plowing fire guards the last few years have given me all thetaste of farming that I want. I'm going to Montana in the spring."

  "Why don't you go this winter? Is your underwear too light?" askedAce Gee. "Now, I'm going to make a farewell play," continued Ace. "I'mgoing to take a claim, and before I file on it, sell my rights, goback to old Van Zandt County, Texas, this winter, rear up my feet, andtell it to them scarey. That's where all my folks live."

  "Well, for a winter's stake," chimed in Joe Box, "Ace's scheme isall right. We can get five hundred dollars out of a claim for simplystaking it, and we know some good ones. That sized roll ought towinter a man with modest tastes."

  "You didn't know that I just came from Montana, did you, Tom?" askedAce. "I can tell you more about that country than you want toknow. I've been up the trail this year; delivered our cattle on theYellowstone, where the outfit I worked for has a northern range. WhenI remember this summer's work, I sometimes think that I will burnmy saddle and never turn or look a cow in the face again, nor rideanything but a plow mule and that bareback.

  "The people I was working for have a range in Tom Green County, Texas,and another one in Montana. They send their young steers north tomature--good idea, too!--but they are not cowmen like the ones weknow. They made their money in the East in a patent medicine--gotscads of it, too. But that's no argument that they know anythingabout a cow. They have a board of directors--it is one of those cattlecompanies. Looks like they started in the cattle business to givetheir income a healthy outlet from the medicine branch. They operateon similar principles as those soap factory people did here in theStrip a few years ago. About the time they learn the business they gobroke and retire.

  "Our boss this summer was some relation to the wife of some of themedicine people Down East. As they had no use for him back there, theysent him out to the ranch, where he would be useful.

  "We started north with the grass. Had thirty-three hundred head oftwos and threes, with a fair string of saddle stock. They run the samebrand on both ranges--the broken arrow. You never saw a cow-bosshave so much trouble; a married woman wasn't a circumstance to him,fretting and sweating continually. This was his first trip over thetrail, but the boys were a big improvement on the boss, as we had agood outfit of men along. My idea of a good cow-boss is a man thatdoesn't boss any; just hires a first-class outfit of men, and thenthere is no bossing to do.

  "We had to keep well to the west getting out of Texas; kept tothe west of Buffalo Gap. From there to Tepee City is a dry, barrencountry. To get water for a herd the size of ours was some trouble.This new medicine man got badly worried several times. He used hisdraft book freely, buying water for the cattle while crossing thisstretch of desert; the natives all through there considered him thesoftest snap they had met in years. Several times we were withoutwater for the stock two whole days. That makes cattle hard to holdat night. They want to get up and prowl--it makes them feverish,and then's when they are ripe for a stampede. We had several boblescrossing that strip of country; nothing bad, just jump and run a mileor so, and then mill until daylight. Then our boss would get greataction on himself and ride a horse until the animal would giveout--sick, he called it. After the first little run we had, it tookhim half the next day to count them; then he couldn't believe his ownfigures.

  "A Val Verde County lad who counted with him said they were allright--not a hoof shy. But the medicine man's opinion was the reverse.At this the Val Verde boy got on the prod slightly, and expressedhimself, saying, 'Why don't you have two of the other boys count them?You can't come within a hundred of me, or yourself either, for thatmatter. I can pick out two men, and if they differ five head, it'll bea surprise to me. The way the boys have brought the cattle by us, anyman that can't count this herd and not have his own figures differmore than a hundred had better quit riding, get himself some sandals,and a job herding sheep. Let me give you this pointer: if you arenot anxious to have last night's fun over again, you'd better quitcounting and get this herd full of grass and water before night, oryou will be cattle shy as sure as hell's hot.'

  "'When I ask you for an opinion,' answered the foreman, somewhatindignant, 'such remarks will be in order. Until then you may keepyour remarks to yourself.'

  "'That will suit me all right, old sport,' retorted Val Verde; 'andwhen you want any one to help you count your fat cattle, get some ofthe other boys--one that'll let you doubt his count as you have mine,and if he admires you for it, cut my wages in two.'

  "After the two had been sparring with each other some little time,another of the boys ventured the advice that it would be easy to countthe animals as they came out of the water; so the order went forwardto let them hit the trail for the first water. We made a fine stream,watering early in the afternoon. As they grazed out from the creek wefed them through between two of the boys. The count showed no cattleshort. In fact, the Val Verde boy's count was confirmed. It was thenthat our medicine man played his cards wrong. He still insistedthat we were cattle out, thus queering himself with his men. He wasgradually getting into a lone minority, though he didn't have senseenough to realize it. He would even fight with and curse his horses toimpress us with his authority. Very little attention was paid to himafter this, and as grass and water improved right along nothing ofinterest happened.

  "While crossing 'No-Man's-Land' a month later,--I was on herd myselfat the time, a bright moonlight night,--they jumped like a cat shotwith No. 8's, and quit the bed-ground instanter. There were three ofus on guard at the time, and before the other boys could get out oftheir blankets and into their saddles the herd had gotten well underheadway. Even when the others came to our assistance, it took ussome time to quiet them down. As this scare came during last guard,daylight was on us before they had quit milling, and we were threemiles from the wagon. As we drifted them back towards camp, for fearthat something might have gotten away, most of the boys scoured thecountry for miles about, but without reward. When all had returnedto camp, had breakfasted, and changed horses, the counting act wasordered by Mr. Medicine. Our foreman naturally felt that he would haveto take a hand in this count, evidently forgetting his last experiencein that line. He was surprised, when he asked one of the boys to helphim, by receiving a flat refusal.

  "'Why won't you count with me?' he demanded.

  "'Because you don't possess common cow sense enough, nor is the crudematerial in you to make a cow-hand. You found fault with the men thelast count we had, and I don't propose to please you by giving you achance to find fault with me. That's why I won't count with you.'

  "'Don
't you know, sir, that I'm in authority here?' retorted theforeman.

  "'Well, if you are, no one seems to respect your authority, as you'repleased to call it, and I don't know of any reason why I should. Youhave plenty of men here who can count them correctly. I'll count themwith any man in the outfit but yourself.'

  "'Our company sent me as their representative with this herd,' repliedthe foreman, 'while you have the insolence to disregard my orders.I'll discharge you the first moment I can get a man to take yourplace.'

  "'Oh, that'll be all right,' answered the lad, as the foreman rodeaway. He then tackled me, but I acted foolish, 'fessing up that Icouldn't count a hundred. Finally he rode around to a quiet littlefellow, with pox-marks on his face, who always rode on the point, kepthis horses fatter than anybody, rode a San Jose saddle, and was calledCaliforny. The boss asked him to help him count the herd.

  "'Now look here, boss,' said Californy, 'I'll pick one of the boys tohelp me, and we'll count the cattle to within a few head. Won't thatsatisfy you?'

  "'No, sir, it won't. What's got into you boys?' questioned theforeman.

  "'There's nothing the matter with the boys, but the cattle businesshas gone to the dogs when a valuable herd like this will be trustedto cross a country for two thousand miles in the hands of a man likeyourself. You have men that will pull you through if you'll only letthem,' said the point-rider, his voice mild and kind as though he werespeaking to a child.

  "'You're just like the rest of them!' roared the boss. 'Want to actcontrary! Now let me say to you that you'll help me to count thesecattle or I'll discharge, unhorse, and leave you afoot here in thiscountry! I'll make an example of you as a warning to others.'

  "'It's strange that I should be signaled out as an object of yourwrath and displeasure,' said Californy. 'Besides, if I were you, Iwouldn't make any examples as you were thinking of doing. When youtalk of making an example of me as a warning to others,' said thepox-marked lad, as he reached over, taking the reins of the foreman'shorse firmly in his hand, 'you're a simpering idiot for entertainingthe idea, and a cowardly bluffer for mentioning it. When you talk ofunhorsing and leaving me here afoot in a country a thousand miles fromnowhere, you don't know what that means, but there's no danger of yourdoing it. I feel easy on that point. But I'm sorry to see you makesuch a fool of yourself. Now, you may think for a moment that I'mafraid of that ivory-handled gun you wear, but I'm not. Men wear themon the range, not so much to emphasize their demands with, as youmight think. If it were me, I'd throw it in the wagon; it may get youinto trouble. One thing certain, if you ever so much as lay your handon it, when you are making threats as you have done to-day, I'll builda fire in your face that you can read the San Francisco "Examiner"by at midnight. You'll have to revise your ideas a trifle; in fact,change your tactics. You're off your reservation bigger than a wolf,when you try to run things by force. There's lots better ways. Don'ttry and make talk stick for actions, nor use any prelude to the realplay you wish to make. Unroll your little game with the real thing.You can't throw alkaline dust in my eyes and tell me it's snowing.I'm sorry to have to tell you all this, though I have noticed that youneeded it for a long time.'

  "As he released his grip on the bridle reins, he continued, 'Now rideback to the wagon, throw off that gun, tell some of the boys to takea man and count these cattle, and it will be done better than if youhelped.'

  "'Must I continue to listen to these insults on every hand?' hissedthe medicine man, livid with rage.

  "'First remove the cause before you apply the remedy; that's in yourline,' answered Californy. 'Besides, what are you going to do aboutit? You don't seem to be gifted with enough cow-sense to even use amodified amount of policy in your every-day affairs,' said he, as herode away to avoid hearing his answer.

  "Several of us, who were near enough to hear this dressing-down of theboss at Californy's hands, rode up to offer our congratulations, whenwe noticed that old Bad Medicine had gotten a stand on one of the boyscalled 'Pink.' After leaving him, he continued his ride towards thewagon. Pink soon joined us, a broad smile playing over his homelyflorid countenance.

  "'Some of you boys must have given him a heavy dose for so earlyin the morning,' said Pink, 'for he ordered me to have the cattlecounted, and report to him at the wagon. Acted like he didn't aim todo the trick himself. Now, as I'm foreman,' continued Pink, 'I wantyou two point-men to go up to the first little rise of ground, andwe'll put the cattle through between you. I want a close count,understand. You're working under a boss now that will shove youthrough hell itself. So if you miss them over a hundred, I'll speak tothe management, and see if I can't have your wages raised, or have youmade a foreman or something with big wages and nothing to do.'

  "The point-men smiled at Pink's orders, and one asked, 'Are you readynow?'

  "'All set,' responded Pink. 'Let the fiddlers cut loose.'

  "Well, we lined them up and got them strung out in shape to count,and our point-men picking out a favorite rise, we lined them throughbetween our counters. We fed them through, and as regularly as a watchyou could hear Californy call out to his pardner 'tally!' Alternatelythey would sing out this check on the even hundred head, slipping aknot on their tally string to keep the hundreds. It took a full halfhour to put them through, and when the rear guard of crips and dogiespassed this impromptu review, we all waited patiently for the verdict.Our counters rode together, and Californy, leaning over on the pommelof his saddle, said to his pardner, 'What you got?'

  "'Thirty-three six,' was the answer.

  "'Why, you can't count a little bit,' said Californy. 'I gotthirty-three seven. How does the count suit you, boss?'

  "'Easy suited, gents,' said Pink. 'But I'm surprised to find such goodmen with a common cow herd. I must try and have you appointed bythe government on this commission that's to investigate Texas fever.You're altogether too accomplished for such a common calling as claimsyou at present.'

  "Turning to the rest of us, he said, 'Throw your cattle on the trail,you vulgar peons, while I ride back to order forward my wagon andsaddle stock. By rights, I ought to have one of those centre firecigars to smoke, to set off my authority properly on this occasion.'

  "He jogged back to the wagon and satisfied the dethroned medicine manthat the cattle were there to a hoof. We soon saw the saddle horsesfollowing, and an hour afterward Pink and the foreman rode by us, bigas fat cattle-buyers from Kansas City, not even knowing any one, soabsorbed in their conversation were they; rode on by and up the trail,looking out for grass and water.

  "It was over two weeks afterward when Pink said to us, 'When we strikethe Santa Fe Railway, I may advise my man to take a needed rest for afew weeks in some of the mountain resorts. I hope you all noticed howworried he looks, and, to my judgment, he seems to be losing flesh.I don't like to suggest anything, but the day before we reach therailroad, I think a day's curlew shooting in the sand hills along theArkansas River might please his highness. In case he'll go with me, ifI don't lose him, I'll never come back to this herd. It won't hurt himany to sleep out one night with the dry cattle.'

  "Sure enough, the day before we crossed that road, somewhere nearthe Colorado state line, Pink and Bad Medicine left camp early inthe morning for a curlew hunt in the sand hills. Fortunately it wasa foggy morning, and within half an hour the two were out of sightof camp and herd. As Pink had outlined the plans, everything wasunderstood. We were encamped on a nice stream, and instead of trailingalong with the herd, lay over for that day. Night came and our huntersfailed to return, and the next morning we trailed forward towards theArkansas River. Just as we went into camp at noon, two horsemen loomedup in sight coming down the trail from above. Every rascal of us knewwho they were, and when the two rode up, Pink grew very angry anddemanded to know why we had failed to reach the river the day before.

  "The horse wrangler, a fellow named Joe George, had been properlycoached, and stepping forward, volunteered this excuse: 'You alldidn't know it when you left camp yesterday morning that we were
outthe wagon team and nearly half the saddle horses. Well, we were. Andwhat's more, less than a mile below on the creek was an abandonedIndian camp. I wasn't going to be left behind with the cook to lookfor the missing stock, and told the _segundo_ so. We divided intosquads of three or four men each and went out and looked up thehorses, but it was after six o'clock before we trailed them down andgot the missing animals. If anybody thinks I'm going to stay behindto look for missing stock in a country full of lurking Indians--well,they simply don't know me.'

  "The scheme worked all right. On reaching the railroad the nextmorning, Bad Medicine authorized Pink to take the herd to Ogalallaon the Platte, while he took a train for Denver. Around the camp-firethat night, Pink gave us his experience in losing Mr. Medicine. 'Oh,I lost him late enough in the day so he couldn't reach any shelter forthe night,' said Pink. 'At noon, when the sun was straight overhead, Isounded him as to directions and found that he didn't know straightup or east from west. After giving him the slip, I kept an eye on himamong the sand hills, at the distance of a mile or so, until he gaveup and unsaddled at dusk. The next morning when I overtook him,I pretended to be trailing him up, and I threw enough joy into myrapture over finding him, that he never doubted my sincerity.'

  "On reaching Ogalalla, a man from Montana put in an appearance incompany with poor old Medicine, and as they did business strictly withPink, we were left out of the grave and owly council of medicine men.Well, the upshot of the whole matter was that Pink was put in chargeof the herd, and a better foreman I never worked under. We reached thecompany's Yellowstone range early in the fall, counted over and badeour dogies good-by, and rode into headquarters. That night I talkedwith the regular men on the ranch, and it was there that I found outthat a first-class cowhand could get in four months' haying in thesummer and the same feeding it out in the winter. But don't you forgetit, she's a cow country all right. I always was such a poor hand afootthat I passed up that country, and here I am a 'boomer.'"

  "Well, boom if you want," said Tom Roll, "but do you all rememberwhat the governor of North Carolina said to the governor of SouthCarolina?"

  "It is quite a long time between drinks," remarked Joe, rising, "but Ididn't want to interrupt Ace."

  As we lined up at the bar, Ace held up a glass two thirds full, andlooking at it in a meditative mood, remarked: "Isn't it funny howlittle of this stuff it takes to make a fellow feel rich! Why, fourbits' worth under his belt, and the President of the United Statescan't hire him."

  As we strolled out into the street, Joe inquired, "Ace, where will Isee you after supper?"

  "You will see me, not only after supper, but all during supper,sitting right beside you."